The Top Ten Stories of 2005 — From The Onion

1. January 30, 2005: Bush Elected President Of Iraq

2. December 18, 2005: Asian Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, Kashmir Earthquake Battle For Natural Disasty Award

3. April 3, 2005: Pope Died As He Lived: Propped Up For Public Viewing

4. June 24, 2005: North Korea Nukes Self In Desperate Plea For Attention

5. March 10, 2005: Brain-Dead Americans Defend Brain-Dead Florida Woman

6. April 9, 2005: Prince Charles Weds Longtime Horse

7. February 6, 2005: Losing Super Bowl Team Gets Locker-Room Condolence Call From John Kerry

8. October 19, 2005: Theory Of Intelligent School-Board Design Disproven

9. December 10, 2005: White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex

10. January 7, 2005: Pitt, Aniston To Quietly Separate

(via The Onion)