Be Kind to Lawyers Day!

Today is “Be Kind to Lawyers Day!” Some people may wonder why they should be kind to lawyers. After all, we are the butt of so many jokes:

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Today is “Be Kind to Lawyers Day!” Some people may wonder why they should be kind to lawyers. After all, we are the butt of so many jokes:

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

And the list goes on. (Jokes “courtesy” of IcicleLawJokes).

However, to whom do people turn when they’re in trouble (other than their Mothers)? Lawyers. You might (italicized for sarcasm) get a will from an online source or a kit from your local office supply store, but will it stand up in probate court in your state when all of the relatives you dissed challenge the fact that you left your millions to charity? Not usually.

A lawyer can draft a will for you that will allow you to support Sweaters for Chihuahuas with a $1M bequest while keeping bitter cousin Charlie from supporting his favorite strip club.

And, nothing against Mothers (I love mine dearly, rest her soul), but Mom is not likely to be able to offer much help when your “little blue pill” causes serious damage to Mr. Winky (hey, *she* promised not to tell the world you named him that, I didn’t). In fact, Mom is quite likely not going to want to know about your “little blue pill” or any side effects poor Mr. Winky may suffer.

However, a lawyer can take your case and get you (and Mr. Winky) compensation for your injuries. It may be hard to take the witness stand to tell a jury about your injuries, but you’ll rise to the occasion and your lawyer will be there to help you (with quality representation!).

Lawyers often get a bad reputation. Why? We uphold the law and that’s not always popular with some folks. For example, if you thought, “Hey! If one ‘little blue pill’ will get this party started, how much fun will two be?” then your lawyer is likely to tell you you’re, well, screwed because you clearly didn’t follow the directions on the bottle.

Plus, lawyers do save lives. I remember a story from law school about a criminal defense attorney (perhaps one of the most maligned varieties, next to divorce lawyers). He took a case involving a man who, on a college break from medical school, drove his sister home from a party. Both were drunk and there was an accident. The sister died.

This young man faced the end of his medical career (before it even started) as well as serious time behind bars and the horrible knowledge that his negligence killed his sister. The accident happened right in front of an EMT’s house. The EMT did all he could to save the sister, but to no avail.

The defense attorney noticed that the EMT was behaving strangely on the witness stand and asked him what was wrong. The EMT, fearful that he was about to be hit with perjury, said that he was wrong in his initial testimony. Upon playing the accident over and over in his head, he felt that something wasn’t quite right. That something? The way the car flipped (it landed upside down) and the side of the car from which the EMT pulled both occupants.

It turns out that the EMT actually pulled the sister from the driver’s side of the car and the brother from the passenger’s side. The brother was too drunk to remember that he hadn’t been driving! A perceptive lawyer saved this young man’s career, freedom and prevented a lifetime of guilt by paying attention.

So, you see, we really do perform valuable duties beyond preventing cousin Charlie from squandering your millions and getting you and Mr. Winky compensation for “more than four hours” of pain and suffering.

Call your lawyer and say, “Thanks! I appreciate you!” Send them a card. Buy them lunch. Have your Mom back them some cookies (but don’t tell her about Mr. Winky). Whatever you do, do something nice for your lawyer today.

And no, pictures of how well Mr. Winky is doing post-trial do not count as “something nice.”