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Jared Leto May Sue Over Rumors That He’s Well-Hung

— August 12, 2015

It’s my birthday and my present to myself is this piece about a mind-boggling, yet deeply entertaining, bit of threatened litigation. It seems that a website called Lipstick Alley contains content regarding the size of Jared Leto’s joystick. Leto’s attorney, Allison S. Hart, sent a notice to the site threatening legal action over what she called libelous claims found in the comments section referencing her client’s allegedly over-sized equipment. In short, er long that is, Jared Leto may sue over rumors that he’s well-hung.

Seriously, folks. I am not stretching the truth! Leto is tired of people comparing him to a stallion on Viagra. Mark your calendars because it’s the first time I’ve ever heard a man complain about such a rumor.

Lipstick Alley has an awesome defender by the name of Paul Alan Levy, also an attorney. He is Iron Man to Leto’s Incredible Bulk. His response to Hart’ threats is priceless:

“Some of the posts of which you object do not appear to me to be defamatory. Two of the posts simply mention claims found elsewhere in the Internet that your client has a large penis. It is hard to see how those statements would hurt your client’s reputation, even if they are false. It is, as I understand it, the accusation of having a small penis that is understood to be an insult.”

Sorry, Ant-Man!

Leto’s lawyer also complained about comments on the site sharing stories of his alleged preference for rough and tumble sex and claims that he is a selfish lover. Levy’s response:

“I assume that you do not have personal knowledge about the size of Leto’s penis or about whether he is rough with sexual partners, and you do not cite any evidence supporting your claim of falsity…Finally, each and every one of your purported libel claims is barred by the statute of limitations.”

Wouldn’t that be an interesting evidentiary hearing! They should sell tickets.

Besides which, the Above the Law blog reminds Hart that, “the Communications Decency Act holds website operators not liable for comments posted by their readers.” This is something that must have given Lipstick Alley’s owner reason to heave a long sigh of relief.

It’s not hard to see that any claims of damages made by Leto and his lawyer don’t have three legs to stand on. In fact, I can only believe that these rumors have enlarged Leto’s fan base and engorged the imaginations of many throughout the blogosphere.

It’s time to call it a wrap, so I can get this puppy up. I’m glad this is my last post for the day. Leto’s allegedly amazing appendage would be a hard act to follow.

By the way, here’s Levy’s letter to Hart. It’s worth a look.


Jared Leto’s Lawyer Wants To Sue Everyone Who Talks About His Big D*ck


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