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Judge Found Davis in Contempt of Court and Jailed Her

— September 3, 2015

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis is adjusting to her new role of jailbird tonight. The court found her in contempt for refusing to do her job and issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Davis held to her prejudicial religious beliefs to the bitter end as the U.S. marshals took her to Boyd County Jail. Her son is the only deputy clerk who still refuses to do the job; the other five will begin issuing marriage licenses Friday.

Sanity has returned to Rowan County, Kentucky! Starting tomorrow, deputy clerks will issue marriage licenses to all people! County Clerk Kim Davis won’t be there to actually do her job, though. A judge found Davis in contempt of court and jailed her. It’s not clear what will become of her son, the only deputy clerk in her office who still refuses to comply.

Have a good time, girl! Maybe you can pray away that orange jumpsuit; it’s so not your color, honey. The only beef I have with this ruling is U.S. District Court Judge David Bunning’s timing. I was one paragraph away from finishing a scathing piece on the flat-out idiocy of her lawyer’s OpEd bit in USA Today when the news broke. All that righteous queer energy spent for naught! Ah, well. At least I have this juicy piece to play with, right? Coincidentally, I heard that’s what Davis’ cellie said, too.

Judge Bunning, former GOP Sen. Jim Bunning’s son, had Her Holiness held by the U.S. marshals while he gave her one last chance to snap out of her Kool-Aid induced hallucinations and do her damn job. The U.S. marshals were ready to whisk her away to the Boyd County Jail if she declined to obey the law.

Davis’ answer is worthy of recitation by another famous Davis, but sadly Mama Bette is dead. Said Kentucky’s Davis, “My conscience will not allow it. God’s moral law convicts me and conflicts with my duties.”

Hmmm. Well, guess what, buttercup! Judge Bunning’s law (and the SCOTUS) will “convict” your righteous butt if you don’t step up and do what’s right. Yes, I am well aware that contempt of court is not a conviction, but you didn’t spend your afternoon writing a piece that got preempted, so gimme my bon mots where I can get them.

Judge Bunning refused to simply fine this paragon of virtue, though. He rightly felt that fines wouldn’t be enough and that letting her get away with breaking the law would create a “ripple effect.” Not to mention that Davis admitted in court that her fellow Kool-Aid drinkers were already raising money to cover any fines he levied. Apparently, the “God Hates Fags” teddy bear is more of a success than previously thought.

Davis’ “good-faith belief is simply not a viable defense,” Judge Bunning said, adding that he also has deeply held religious beliefs. He went on to say, “I don’t do this lightly. It’s necessary in this case. Oaths mean things.”

I wholeheartedly agree with Judge Bunning about oaths, much more so apparently, than Davis who is on marriage number four. ‘Cuz everybody knows only serial monogamists have the necessary experience to define valid, lasting relationships. Puh-leeze!

Timothy Love, one of the plaintiffs in the case, said, “I’m glad the court sent a strong message that you have to follow the law.” Indeed! And how cool is it that a plaintiff in this case has the last name “Love”?

Davis supporters were horrified at the outcome. One man was so distraught he fell down on the courthouse steps to pray. He’s lucky the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) wasn’t in town. He may have been surprised (or not) at the answer he got to his fervent prayers.


No one knows how long Davis will be wearing orange. The SCOTUS declined to hear any appeals on her case.

Honey, I hope your cellie has good hygiene and takes care of her nails!

Oh, it’s called “Karma,” by the way.


Ky. clerk’s office will issue marriage licenses starting Friday

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