As courts seek to play a more significant role in protecting children from the toxic stress they can experience in custody cases, they are taking a deeper interest in parental alienation.
Recent statistics reveal that children in the US are experiencing a mental health crisis. In response, family courts have begun to pay more attention to the way custody cases might impact childhood mental health. When cases become high-conflict, as experts believe happens approximately 25 percent of the time, today’s courts are especially sensitive to the threat of parental alienation due to the oversized impact it can have on mental health.
The expressions and impact of parental alienation
The broad definition of parental alienation involves a parent deploying tactics that lead to their child withdrawing love from the other parent. It is a complex issue for those involved in custody cases because it can take numerous forms.
Parents can alienate children by creating a situation where they and their child form a bond that excludes the other parent. Sometimes alienation tactics can involve exerting control and threatening to withdraw love in order to gain compliance. There are also situations in which a parent makes comments and statements that cause a child not to want to see or be with the other parent.
The ramifications of parental alienation can vary depending on the child. Some children are deeply impacted by the loss of a parent’s presence in their life, grieving that loss but feeling unable to show it for fear of losing the love of the other parent. In other cases, children eagerly embrace alienation, expressing disdain for the alienated parent and relief at being separated from them.
In the short term, the emotional weight of the situation can lead children to become depressed, despondent, act out aggressively, be less interested in academics or extracurricular events, or lose the ability to focus in school. Long-term, children who experience parental alienation can go on to experience dysfunctional and abusive relationships as adults. The overall impact of parental alienation has led psychologists to classify it as an adverse childhood experience that produces toxic childhood stress.
The challenges parental alienation brings to custody cases
Claims of parental alienation add significant challenges to a custody case. No parent is perfect, and even less so when impacted by the extreme emotions that can arise in high-conflict custody cases. Under such circumstances, it is easy to cast blame and doubt on the other parent’s ability to connect with the child, arguing that they are too controlling, too permissive, or potentially abusive in how they share their grievances with the child.
Proving fault in such cases is problematic. Is the mental stress placed on children involved the fault of the parent being alienated or the one alienating? The cause is difficult to connect.
The older the child, the less likely a court is to intervene with anything more than therapy. Even when therapy is included in a judgment, some judges will not compel a child to attend.
If the child is younger, however, the court may grant a change of custody if counsel can prove misconduct involving parental alienation. The court can also require that the parent practicing alienation tactics be subject to supervised visitation.
Financially, judges who determine a parent has been engaging in alienation tactics can order that parent to cover 100 percent of the other parent’s legal fees and costs related to therapy. In some states, parents can also face fines and criminal charges related to parental alienation.
When parents suspect they are the victim of parental alienation, their first step should be documenting everything. All relevant information should be presented to the court along with a request for a forensic evaluation and reunification therapy, which is a valuable tool parents should use as often as possible when they believe they are being alienated.
The steps to avoiding accusations of parental alienation
To avoid the negative consequences that can follow a judgment that acknowledges parental alienation, parents going through custody cases should be careful to sidestep common pitfalls such as blaming the other parent or trying to win the child’s affection by degrading the other parent. Rather, parents should strive to find common ground with the child that both they and their child can enjoy, avoiding discussions about the divorce or issues that led to it.
As courts seek to play a more significant role in protecting children from the toxic stress they can experience in custody cases, they are taking a deeper interest in parental alienation. To avoid serious consequences, parents and their attorneys must make sure they understand what parental alienation involves and how to steer clear of engaging in it.
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