This is the first story I’ve covered for Legal Reader that has made me question everything that I’ve ever known. In what has to be one of the biggest, most tragic cases of meaticide in history.
This is the first story I’ve covered for Legal Reader that has made me question everything that I’ve ever known. In what has to be one of the biggest, most tragic cases of meaticide in history, Kraft Heinz announced on Tuesday that the company has recalled over two-million pounds of turkey bacon products. Kraft discovered the problem after receiving “spoilage-related consumer complaints,” as well as reports of “illness related to the consumption of these products.” As much as I want to believe that I am being fooled by an Onion article, the USDA has verified the recall, labeling it a class II designation, which means a “remote probability of adverse health consequences from the use of the product.” The USDA is warning that the contents may spoil before its “best when used by” dates. According to the USDA alert, the bacon was produced between May 31st and August 6th, and sold throughout the U.S. and as well as the Bahamas and St. Martin.
If we the people are to believe this government propaganda, the recall affects 56 oz. boxes of Oscar Meyer “Selects Uncured Turkey Bacon,” with best when used by dates of 24 AUG 2015 through 26 OCT 2015. All of the recalled boxes have the plant number P-9070, the line number RS19, with the 56 oz. boxes containing a product UPC of 0 4470007633 0. Also included (allegedly), are 48 oz. boxes of Oscar Meyer Turkey Bacon “Smoked Cured Turkey Chopped and Formed” with dates of 3 SEPT 2015 through 30 OCT 2015. These boxes have a UPC of 0 7187154879 3. Also among the victims are 36 oz. sized boxes of the “Smoked Cured Turkey Chopped and Formed” variety turkey bacon, with dates of 3 SEPT 2015 through 30 OCT 2015, and a product UPC 0 7187154874 8. Although the USDA has stated there have been a few illness complaints made to Kraft Heinz after consuming the bacon, the agency wrote that it “has not received any confirmed reports of adverse reactions related to the consumption of these products.” The USDA recommends anyone who has fallen ill due to the product should contact a health care provider.
As a concerned meativist, I wanted to find out what consumers should do with the turkey bacon if they discover they have purchased the affected boxes. According to an email response from Kraft-Heinz media relations head of communications Jody Moore, consumers can either return it to the store where they purchased it or they can discard it, Moore added that if consumers have any questions, they should contact the Kraft Heinz Consumer Relations center at 1-800-278-3403 between 9am and 6pm EST. While consumers could follow Moore’s advice, I would recommend a proper burial instead, including a pallbearer and a 12-gun salute. As someone who has never left a piece of bacon linger within my sight, I would also recommend some kind of post-burial counseling followed by an LT sandwich in order to truly appreciate and fully accept the loss. And to answer the question, no, there is no such thing as bad bacon. Some bacon is just a little more mature than others.
Detailed packaging descriptions can be found at the link below:
NBC News – Alexander Smith and Jay Blackman
WKMG Local 6 (Orlando) – Dawn Brooks