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Planning a Divorce: Here are Some Important Things You Need to Know

— April 15, 2021

Try not to think of yourself as a victim. Rather, strive to create small steps that will help you build your life once again. 

Planning a divorce does not have to be a complicated and complex affair as is often made out. There can be numerous reasons why someone would want to file a divorce. The important thing to understand is that planning a divorce can have a long-lasting impact on your life. We fail to understand that apart from the parties concerned, a divorce affects everyone around them. 

In this article, we speak to leading legal experts and try to address the following important aspects of divorce planning- 

  • Preparing a checklist for the next steps 
  • Discussing the different types of divorces
  • Listing an Exit Plan for life post getting a divorce

If you or someone you know is planning a divorce, you can share this resource article with them to help make the process easier. 

Preparing a Checklist for the Next Steps in Divorce Planning

Having a proper plan of action, always helps in a divorce. You can keep ticking things off from this checklist and making sure you are doing alright in the entire process. 

  1. Draw Support from the People near you

Divorces can be hard. They can result in a lot of emotional and mental grief, especially if you are filing for a divorce on grounds of infidelity, abuse, and financial exploitation. While you may not be the reason for the divorce, in many cases, you might be the one who would initiate the divorce process. Therefore, it is important to draw support and prepare a team of well-wishers around you. This will help you with a lot of emotional support and strength. 

  1. Select the Best Divorce Attorney for your Case

No matter what kind of a divorce you are going for, it is important to get the best guidance on divorce law. This is important as there are multiple important issues that can be involved. These can range from financial settlements to dwelling house separation and the custody of the kids. Make sure that you go for the best divorce lawyers you can afford to make the entire process as uncomplicated as possible. This ensures that the process gets done in a smooth process. 

  1. Get your Personal Information in Order

You and your spouse might have several joint accounts ranging from bank accounts to insurance, shares, investments and so on. Experts suggest that in addition to the above, it is also important to set up separate Post Office Box accounts where you will be able to receive and send confidential mails. This can be heart-breaking, but it should be done as soon as possible. You also need to get all the government documents in order before the filing process. 

  1. Know where you stand in Financial Terms

A divorce is not only a separation of two individuals, but also involves a splitting of the finances. This sounds easier said than done. A difficult question that your divorce will throw up is- who will get what? This includes the house, money, assets, cars, valuables, shares, investments, and any other financials that you are your spouse would own custody of. Talk to your divorce lawyer in great details about the same as this can become a contested issue. 

  1. Decide on the Custody of the Kids

    Woman and child touching faces, image by Bruno Nascimento, via
    Woman and child touching faces, image by Bruno Nascimento, via

One area which results in the maximum drainage of emotions and feelings is the custody of children. Divorce is especially hard on children and questions of custody need to be handled in a very sensitive and evolved manner. You need to sit down with your spouse and the attorneys and decide how you would want to proceed with the same. Make sure that you put the interests of the kids over and above everything else when it comes to this aspect of divorce planning. 

What are the Different Types of Divorces you should know about?

In this section, we look at the three major kinds of divorces that happen. Planning a divorce can never happen unless you understand what type of divorce will be best suited to your interest. 

  1. Uncontested Divorce

If you have been in a marriage for over five years and have kids, then this is the kind of divorce you would want to go for. This is a stable, mature, and adult way to get a divorce where you and your spouse decide on all the issues in advance. According to legal experts, this kind of divorce generates the least emotional, mental, and financial stresses for both the parties involved. In terms of the duration of the proceedings, this is the quickest one. 

  1. Contested Divorce 

In this type of case, both the parties need to present their point of view in front of a judge. The judge then decides through a long and arduous process about who gets what as everything is contested. This means that in terms of financial separation to child custody, there is no agreement between the couple. This process is long, can get ugly and result in several financial, legal and court fees. Hence, it is best to get the best legal attorneys. 

  1. Mediated Divorce

In the last few years, many high-profile individuals have taken recourse to mediated divorce simply because what is at stake in their marriage. In a mediated divorce, you take help from a third-party legal professional that helps you and your partner with counseling. The aim is to resolve the irreconcilable differences between the parties. Please note that in no sense whatsoever will the mediator take the decision for you. As the word suggests, it is mediation. 

How to Create an Exit Plan for your Life after a Divorce

No matter how simple and easy the process of divorce is, it is sure to have a long-lasting impact on your life. The same gets far more complicated for individuals that have been married for a longer period and have shared assets, investments, houses, and kids. 

It is important that you focus on the following points when creating and exit plan after your divorce- 

  • Make sure that you are financially independent and can take care of yourself. Therefore, it is important that you create an emergency financial fund to help you sustain. 
  • The next thing you need to do is figure out where you will have to live. If you are moving out, decide on a place and make the payment. Do this as soon as possible. 
  • According to experts, it is important to accept and acknowledge what you have been through and give time to the recovery and healing process. Join support groups. 
  • Try to keep the entire process as civil as possible. This means that things have not gone as you would have liked them to, but it is important to not create unnecessary troubles. 
  • Try to avoid social media with regards to your divorce. You do not need to share something so intimate about your life on social media platforms. Stay off digital. 

Many experts recommend that people who have gone through this need to start caring about themselves once again. Try to do things that make you happy or give you joy. This can be anything- writing a journal, traveling, picking up a new skill or starting a new business. 

What you are going to do immediately after the divorce in terms of caring for yourself is probably the most important part of the exit plan. 

The Bottom Line

A divorce can be hard. There are no two ways about it. The key to accept it, grieve it out and then try to move on with your life in the best possible fashion. Try not to think of yourself as a victim. Rather, strive to create small steps that will help you build your life once again. 

We have tried to list down several resources that can help you plan your divorce in the article. If you would want us to shed some more light on any issue specifically, let us know. You can drop all your queries in the comments section below. 

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