Divorce is extremely difficult, and adding in malicious tactics can make it even more painful. If your divorcing spouse is working overtime to punish you in your divorce, it could affect the outcome of your case.
Divorce is an exceptionally challenging transition that can push some to dig in their heels and do just about anything they can to protect what they consider theirs in the process. While you may not think that your spouse is capable of dirty dealings in your divorce, you should keep your eyes wide open and know the tell-tale signs indicative of bad faith.
Whether you’re ending a marriage that just didn’t work out, divorcing a narcissist used to getting his or her way, or fleeing an abusive relationship that puts your family in danger, being aware of these underhanded tactics will help you protect your rights and your future in your divorce case.
Protecting your financial and parental rights is paramount. Don’t wait to consult with an experienced Texas divorce attorney. A lawyer can assess your situation and protect your interests.
Delay, Delay, Delay
Texas requires divorcing couples to wait at least 60 days from the date of filing for divorce to the date of finalizing the legal matter. In reality, most divorces take considerably longer as spouses negotiate important divorce terms.
It’s unwise to move through your divorce too quickly or too slowly. Rushing through your divorce can leave you with final terms that don’t protect your rights. Conversely, dragging out the divorce process can increase costs and tension, as well as delay your new beginning.
If your spouse is delaying negotiations unnecessarily or manufacturing obstacles that prevent progress, he or she may be trying to wear you down. Everyone has a breaking point, and no one knows yours better than your divorcing spouse.
Your spouse may also engage in other common stalling practices:
- Failing to respond to discovery requests or leaving information out that you must proceed to fight for
- Frequently rescheduling meetings, depositions, or mediation
- Missing court deadlines
- Creating problems that require the court’s attention
Your spouse’s exact motivation for stalling the proceedings can be difficult to pinpoint. It could be a means of exerting control over the process and, therefore, over you, or it may be a strategic means of breaking down your will to fight for your rights. They may also be appealing to your desire to manage the cost of your divorce. Or it could be any combination of these factors.
If you get the feeling that your soon-to-be ex is stalling your case without a legitimate reason, discuss the matter with your practiced divorce lawyer. There are legal means of overcoming your spouse’s efforts to drag you down.
Rushing Your Case Along
On the other side of the spectrum are attempts to rush your case along. If your spouse is super gung-ho and ready to settle things on the spot, it should give you pause. Common examples include creating unrealistic timelines, pushing their own agenda, inventing deadlines, and appealing to your desire to maintain civility for the sake of your children.
There is too much at stake in your divorce to rush, and your divorcing spouse is just as aware of this fact as you are. If your soon-to-be ex is sprinting to the finish line, you should question their need for speed. He or she may be trying to get something past you.
The bottom line is that an amicable divorce that progresses steadily is always the best course of action, as it makes things easier for everyone involved, including your children. However, you should not sacrifice your rights in the process. Taking time to carefully resolve your divorce terms in the context of your rights is always advised.
Refusing to Communicate
Some divorcing spouses will simply refuse to communicate, requiring their spouse to work harder to obtain necessary information. Shutting down communications also requires all negotiations to happen between lawyers, which is a more costly, time-consuming, and emotionally charged approach.
If your spouse refuses to communicate, mediation may help move things forward. It can also expose whether your spouse is bluffing, as few people are eager to let a judge make decisions for them. However, if your spouse is stonewalling just to create conflict, mediation may be pointless. In that case, your divorce lawyer may advise heading straight to court to break the deadlock.
Engaging in Parental Alienation
Children love both of their parents and need both in their lives. When one parent causes kids to distrust their other parent, it can do untold damage. This practice is called parental alienation, and, in Texas, it’s considered child abuse.
Consider these common examples of parental alienation:
- Sharing unflattering information about the other parent, which can be true or fictitious, with the children
- Discussing legal matters or court documents that relate to the divorce with the children
- Blaming the other parent for the divorce and conflict
- Encouraging the children not to spend time with their other parent or otherwise interfering with the other parent’s visitation
- Spoiling the children to win their favor
- Making the children feel guilty when they enjoy time with their other parent
- Making their own affections seem like a prize that can be won or lost
- Making important decisions for the children without consulting the other parent
- Making the children believe that their other parent is no longer interested in them or no longer loves them
- Making a dramatic show of playing the victim
This list could go on and on, but if you have even an inkling that your spouse is stooping to practices like these, it’s time to take action. The first order of business will be talking about the issue with your attorney, but you can also try some of these tips for targeted parents.
Parental alienation is often misunderstood, but it is a serious matter in every case. Your soon-to-be ex’s actions are harming your children and your relationship with them. Parental alienation should be addressed head-on as soon as possible.
Making False Allegations
False allegations in a divorce can send the case into a tailspin. Once allegations are made, the court is generally required to investigate them, which is likely to prolong the case, escalate the divorce drama, and increase costs. The stress of being falsely accused can also cause victims to give up out of exhaustion.
Manipulative spouses make false accusations to punish the other parent, gain an upper hand, or take control over the legal process. This tactic can be highly effective because it is difficult to prove that something did not happen.
If you are facing false allegations, rely on your formidable divorce lawyer to defend your good name and ensure that your spouse’s ugly efforts are not fruitful. If you are successful, the court can penalize your spouse for making false accusations, which can include requiring them to cover your legal costs.
Manipulating Child Support
Often, the parent who spends fewer overnights with the children is obligated to pay child support to the primary custodial parent. If your spouse is uncharacteristically seeking additional parenting time that may not be supported by their work schedule, you should consider their motivation.
Your children’s other parent may believe that securing more parenting time will alleviate their child support responsibility, but that is not how the State of Texas sees it. Generally, the parent who is the higher earner is required to make child support payments to the other parent – even when parenting time is split evenly.
Other dishonest parents may resort to quitting their jobs, voluntarily working fewer hours, or falsifying their earnings to limit their financial responsibility to their children. Texas courts do not tolerate such maneuvers, and you can expect your determined divorce attorney to get to the bottom of the matter.
Spreading Ugly Information About You
Divorce can definitely bring out the worst in people, and if this applies to your divorcing spouse, they may indulge in a smear campaign against you. This tactic can involve spreading malicious rumors to your friends, family, coworkers, and social media followers.. Regardless of the approach, these actions can leave you in a very awkward position.
You will be glad to learn, however, that Texas courts do not take kindly to such antics. In fact, your spouse’s efforts could come back to haunt them. For example, social media posts can be subpoenaed in Texas divorce cases.
Your job throughout this ordeal is to hold your head high, refrain from retaliating in kind, and remember that your reputation is a reflection of your integrity. Those who know you see through their base attempts to sully your name, and your refusal to stoop to your soon-to-be ex’s level speaks to your character.
Divorce is extremely difficult, and adding in malicious tactics can make it even more painful. If your divorcing spouse is working overtime to punish you in your divorce, it could affect the outcome of your case. You need the guidance of an experienced Texas divorce attorney. Call us at (254) 566-3358 or contact us online for a FREE consultation.
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