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Tackling Divorce with a Jerk Spouse


— December 12, 2023

Contacting a divorce lawyer when dealing with a difficult ex-spouse is essential to ensure that your legal rights are protected.


A jerk spouse can make your divorce significantly harder. Although many aspects of the divorce may be out of your control, you must do everything within your power not to inflame tensions any further.

Although you must try to maintain good relations as best as you can, you must also be prepared to push back and litigate your case if necessary. The best strategy when your spouse is being uncooperative and petty is to be ready to compromise but prepared to fight back in court when it is necessary. You should not try to deal with your spouse on your own.

Talk to a family law & divorce lawyer today to discuss your case in a free initial consultation. An attorney can help take some of the burden off you, dealing with your spouse’s attorney, so you do not have the unpleasant task yourself.

You Have to Maintain Control in Spite of the Circumstances

In any divorce, you can only control your own actions. Even though you are dealing with high emotions and a potentially difficult split, you must do everything that you can to remain businesslike. Unfortunately, you cannot make your spouse behave themselves or act civilly and rationally. How you respond to their behavior and provocations can go a long way to determining the outcome of your divorce process.

It is crucial that you not take the bait and make mistakes of your own. Your spouse may be taking out their frustrations on you, but you cannot let it agitate you to the point where you act out of frustration or allow yourself to be thrown off your strategy.

Have a Buffer Between You and Your Spouse

Your spouse may have different motivations for how they are acting. Regardless, what is driving them should not be your problem. If they cannot act civilly, there is no reason why you should try to deal with them directly. Do your best to resist their efforts to drag you into conflict.

If you are dealing with matters related to the children, keep your discussions limited to what you have to discuss. Otherwise, you should have some buffer between you and them. For divorce-related matters, having an aggressive divorce lawyer serving Houston could reduce the times you need to interact directly with your spouse. Your lawyer could also help keep you on track and from being dragged into the conflict that your spouse wants. 

Try to Negotiate if Possible

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A negotiated agreement is the best alternative in practically every divorce. Your first preference should always be for a settlement, but it must be on fair and equitable terms. Both spouses will need to compromise to reach an agreement. 

Needless to say, it is difficult to negotiate with someone acting in a hostile and spiteful manner. It is better when your attorney can deal directly with your spouse’s attorney to keep some of the emotion out of negotiations.

Mediation can be a way to get help negotiating, especially when your spouse is being difficult. A trained mediator can work with both spouses and their attorneys to help get past emotions and personality differences in negotiations. They can try to highlight points of agreement to help you progress towards a resolution. 

Be Ready to Litigate if You Must

Negotiations cannot be successful when only one spouse is compromising and participating in good faith. You cannot negotiate against yourself when the other spouse is not interested in resolving the divorce. If your spouse only wants to fight, you will have no choice but to do so. 

You cannot allow negotiations, or even a difficult situation, to go on forever. You may have no choice but to take a matter to court. For example, if your spouse is dragging things out, and it is keeping you stuck in the divorce process, you may need to take your case to court. The prospect of litigation may force your spouse to behave better, especially if they are getting advice from a lawyer. If not, the judge can decide any disagreements, and courts do not always take kindly to spouses acting badly. 

Contacting a Divorce Lawyer

Contacting a divorce lawyer when dealing with a difficult ex-spouse is essential to ensure that your legal rights are protected, that you receive fair treatment in negotiations, and that the divorce process proceeds as smoothly as possible, especially in emotionally charged situations. With legal representation, divorce cases are more likely to be resolved efficiently & fairly while saving you time, money, and unnecessary stress in the long run.

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