Do you hope to give your marriage another chance in the future? Or do you only see it as a stepping stone to getting a divorce?
Marriage separations can always be a bit painful, but they do not have to be toxic as well. For many couples, divorce ends up turning ugly, with both sides being unhappy and turning at each other throughout the whole process.
However, stressful separations are not good for your health, not to mention that they have a bad psychological effect on the children. Here are some tips to ensure the separation is healthy, without risking too many psychological scars in the long run.
- Treat Your Spouse Like a Business Partner
Rather than treating your partner with the attitude of a scorned spouse with anger issues and no civility, you need to treat them like you would a business partner. Be courteous, answer the phone, and communicate all important information you may have.
Demonstrate that you aren’t a petty person by showing professional conduct. Treating them like they are the enemy won’t do you any good, especially if you have children.
- Get a Family Law Attorney
Regardless of your reason for getting separated, you will always need someone able to offer you legal counsel in a marriage separation. They can help you with the paperwork, give you legal advice, act as mediators, and ensure the separation process is as smooth as possible.
Bear in mind that while the fundamental principles of family law are mainly the same throughout the entire U.S., certain states might have their own slight principles. Davis family law attorneys, for instance, might handle matters differently compared to a lawyer in Richmond, in terms of signing papers.
Go for local lawyers, as they will be more knowledgeable on the city’s family law. At the same time, you might try to learn more about the law yourself. Not only will it help your lawyer help you, but it will also give you a better sense of control.
- Create a Support Network
Marriage separation is difficult enough as it is, and feeling like you are all alone in this won’t help matters for you either. Very often, out of shame or other personal reasons, you refuse to reach out to other people. You try to work things out by yourself.
However, a healthier alternative is to create a support network. Talking to someone you trust will make it easier for you to get through this process. After all, you’ll no longer be bottling things up. If you do not have such a person, you can also employ the help of a therapist.
- Don’t Make Significant Changes Right Away
Unless necessary, you should not make any drastic changes. Don’t spend significant sums of money right away, and don’t change your routine when you are first getting separated. Pay bills and go with life just like you used to. You’re not technically divorced; just legally separated.
Until a parenting plan is set in motion, you should not make any arrangements for the kids. Unless there is a safety concern, like an alcoholic partner prone to violence, you should not move them out right away. Stability is required for a healthy marriage process, and you don’t do that by making rash decisions.
- Be Clear About Expectations
You cannot have any unpleasant surprises throughout your marriage if you state your expectations right away. This way, you will get absolute clarity about your path – and when the path is clear, there will be less unhealthy drama.
Do you hope to give your marriage another chance in the future? Or do you only see it as a stepping stone to getting a divorce? How do you plan on interacting with each other throughout the legal separation? All these things need to be thoroughly arranged because a marriage separation can take a while.
- Keep a Therapist Schedule
Some wounds in a marriage run so deep that you likely will not be able to get through them by using sheer willpower. This should be done if you still have faith that you can restore your marriage.
Even if you don’t want to fix your marriage and stop the divorce from coming your way, counseling can still help your mental health and stress levels. It will help you cope with your separation in a healthy way, allowing you to get on with your life.
It will also make it easier for you to handle things when the divorce papers finally come in.
The Bottom Line
A marriage separation can be challenging and painful. However, if you approach it correctly, then the entire process can be healthier. Whether you fix your marriage or not in the meantime, you’ll still make things easier for yourself.