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How to Handle an Angry Ex During Divorce

— October 6, 2022

It is essential to always behave in accordance with the guidelines you have set up for an aggressive person, especially while interacting with that person.

Even after a breakup, a former partner may occasionally re-enter your life and act in a manner that is both unexpected and upsetting. Even if you did not meet during the online divorce in Florida and let the divorce attorney deal with everything, your ex may react quite emotionally to the situation. He is impolite, adamant, and offensive as he insists that we repeatedly demand that we reconsider our objectives and reject our well-crafted plans. How to deal with an angry ex-husband? What steps can you take to mitigate the hostile behavior that has been directed against you? 

If you have children it becomes a whole big deal, and I would advise you to visit co-parenting counseling to solve this problem. Imagine that your ex-husband sent an internet message to your new partner in which he insulted them and made a death threat against them. The fact that his son refused to change the plans they had made to see each other spurred his father to take action. It is not the first time that he has made threats; if he is unable to apply pressure in any other way, he will often begin an assault while a meeting is in session. He has done this before.

7 Simple Steps to Put Your Ex-Spouse in His Place

The threat was recorded on your phone, and you were able to present it to the appropriate authorities. Because of this, the husband decided to seek the advice of legal representation and declare that his angry ex-wife was the one who first made the threats. Because of this, I had no choice but to get involved in the dispute that he began. Dealing with the legal system, having to pay for attorneys, and having to communicate with an ex-spouse can be quite taxing. You were in desperate need of a break; you were worn out. You had hoped to find a way to keep yourself safe and sever any contact with him without resorting to the legal system or law enforcement to accomplish these goals.

  1. Why do you still keep in touch with him?

You were petrified of your angry ex-husband, but you felt you had to talk to him because you shared a child and a history. Despite your fear, you approached him. But when we were talking about issues and worries, he would regularly change the subject and start insulting people or bringing up old grievances, or making personal attacks. 

Always make sure you have a clear understanding of why you are interacting with the specific individual you are. In any circumstance, it is necessary to set boundaries and strictly stick to them.

2. Set your boundaries 

You need to have a sense of safety inside yourself before you can open up and be honest with another person. On the other hand, when there is tension, it is vital to establish clear lines in the sand and keep to them no matter how much opposition you get from your ex-partner. When there is tension, it is important to draw clear lines in the sand. 

Do not be afraid to put constraints in place when your ex is angry at you; for instance, you may decide to interact only through written methods, stay away from in-person meetings, and limit business conversations to electronic messaging. Do not be hesitant to put these kinds of restrictions in place. It is not necessary to explain all that is required is to emphasize the person who initiated the conflict.

3. Do not try to change him

We would never think that someone aggressive and antagonistic is also capable of love and compassion since we know it is impossible. But you were under the impression that if she complied with the demands of her husband, he would stop being so impolite to her. On the other hand, that did not take place. to the point that you had to readjust how you felt about what was going to happen. You’ve come to terms with the idea that his activities are outside of your sphere of influence and that you have no responsibility for them. Of course, you can try to explain to him what is a no-fault divorce, but we doubt that will work. 

4. Defend yourself!

Black and white picture of peaceful woman; image by Caique Nascimento, via
Black and white picture of peaceful woman; image by Caique Nascimento, via

Everyone goes through a difficult time when they find out they put their faith in the wrong person. However, this does not mean that we are unable to protect ourselves by taking appropriate precautions. To prevent yourself from experiencing the anger and hurt caused by your ex-comments, partner you started convincing yourself that it “bounced off” of you rather than causing you harm.

5. “Test” your ex

When your ex-husband remained calm for a while, you may have mistakenly assumed that this would be the case permanently (the classic story of a toxic relationship). You learn to “test” something through time, usually via painful experience. Give him some information and see whether he uses it inappropriately. Studying his social media postings might provide you insight into his mood and help you better prepare for a chat with him.

6. Keep the pause

After you have decreased the amount of time spent talking about the child while on the phone, the next step is to get ready in advance for any calls that you will need to make. Bring a dependable friend or member of your family with you if you are forced to have a face-to-face interaction. Take as much time as you need to consider how to respond to his statements and the demands he made.

7. Now you set the new communication rules

It is essential to always behave in accordance with the guidelines you have set up for an aggressive person, especially while interacting with that person. If your partner starts acting disrespectfully and raising their voice, you should just stop talking to them. You receive some rude text messages from your angry ex, and in response, you say “we’ll speak later.” In the event that he does not desist from harassing you, turn off your phone. 

This is an instance of behavior that has changed. The continuation of communication with a “good” person is considered to be the reward bestowed on that person. When someone is threatened with “punishment,” all communication with that person ceases immediately. It may be helpful to disclose your spouse’s messages to a reliable friend or family member when you are unable to receive a straightforward response from your partner.

When you put into practice the seven tactics I’ve provided here for dealing with his aggression, your relationship with your ex-husband will improve, which will be beneficial to both of you. You need to be ready for the fact that he will revert to some of his previous behaviors from time to time. Over the course of time, he will realize that insulting you is no longer going to get him what he desires from you. There is no longer any need to be hostile toward one another.

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