Dr. Bill Maniatis explains the difference between vasectomy, tubal ligation and Essure in this short video. Honestly guys, it’s short because this is a pretty simple comparison. Don’t hand me some load of crap about your “manhood.” I have the same equipment dangling away down there and my self-worth is not tied up in my sperm count. “But it’s a shot! In the balls! Dude, are you nuts?!” (pun intended)
I put warnings on video posts that contain graphic images. Well, this one doesn’t but it gets a warning anyway. If you’re a man and you’re reading this, it may make you uncomfortable in more ways than one. Real men get snipped! Vasectomy is safer alternative to Essure for “permanent” birth control.
Dr. Bill Maniatis explains the difference between vasectomy, tubal ligation and Essure in this short video. Honestly guys, it’s short because this is a pretty simple comparison.
Vasectomy is an in-office procedure that takes less time than getting a haircut. Tubal ligation is a hospital stay. Essure, while still an in-office procedure, comes with a whole host of horrid side effects.
The test for effectiveness for Essure is an often-unpleasant x-ray done with a contrast dye. The way you know a tubal ligation was successful is that you don’t have another baby. The test to see if a vasectomy worked is a simple sperm count, performed in a lab, after you provide the doc with a “sample” by doing what you probably already do once a day anyway.
Vasectomy patients get a rather unpleasant shot to numb “the area,” while tubal ligation patients are under full anesthesia and Essure patients get a variety of pain control, most of which is unsuccessful from what I’ve heard.
Recovery time for vasectomy is typically a few days with a bag of frozen peas, while recovery time for tubal ligation is similar minus the peas. Recovery from Essure, as we’ve seen, may never happen with all of the negative side effects it often brings.
If the two of you change your mind and want more children, vasectomies are typically easy to reverse, whereas tubal ligation is not. Given how Essure works, reversal is usually a major surgery an sometimes not even possible.
Here’s where the rubber (no pun intended) meets the road, fellow men.
If you and your significant other were walking down the street and some random guy started pushing her around, what would you do? You’d intervene, right? You’d do this to keep her safe. Sure, you may take a punch or two, but I’m willing to bet you’d take a lot more rather than see her beat up.
If you’re awakened in the middle of the night by a strange sound in the house, I’m betting you don’t turn to her and say, “Honey! There’s somebody downstairs! Go check it out!” Nope. You get up, grab the closest thing to a weapon you’ve got in your bedroom (mine is a baseball bat) and head out, hoping you just scare the crap out of the dog as it’s rummaging through the kitchen garbage.
But the thing is, you go. You take the chance it may not be the dog. So, here’s my question: why in the name of logic are you letting her take the hit (sometimes multiple, especially with Essure) when it comes to “permanent” birth control?
Don’t hand me some load of crap about your “manhood.” I have the same equipment dangling away down there and my self-worth is not tied up in my sperm count.
“But it’s a shot! In the balls! Dude, are you nuts?!” (pun intended that time)
Uh, yeah, it is. Trust me, though: if she can handle natural childbirth, you can take a needle to the goolies. After all, it’s a shot of numbing agent; the pain will pass. You’re not pushing another human being out of your pee-hole without so much as an aspirin. You’ll live, I promise.
But, but, but…
Save it. Not gonna buy it. Yes, it’s a surgery. Yes, there are risks. But you’re willing to confront a potentially armed intruder at 3AM, wearing only boxers and carrying a nine iron. Dudes, I think you’re OK with risks.
My point (if, gods help us, it hasn’t been made clear by now) is that vasectomy is far safer than any other “permanent” birth control method on the market, unless you count abstinence. It’s that women have to give birth, for crying out loud and a snip is nothing compared to that event.
You would take a bullet for her, so why are you OK with putting her through the even greater risks of general anesthesia and major surgery, when all you have to do is get one (albeit awful) shot and become intimate with some frozen peas?
Of course, much of this post was written tongue firmly planted in cheek (we shall not contemplate puns now). However, the point is a serious one.
If you’ve ever said, “Real men take care of their wives/girlfriends!” in your life than you should seriously give this post some thought when contemplating “permanent” birth control options. Real men get snipped! Everything “works” the same as pre-snip, other than that you’d be shooting blanks.
You’re significant other will be happy you spared her major surgery (or Essure misery). That may even lead to some celebratory sex! Win-win, right? Just wait until you’re done with the peas first, OK?